2004-01-03
Things that make you go herm
Melissa dies.
Why?
Because she discovered this Daniel Kueblboeck dude. He was the runner up on �Superstar,� Germany�s Idol show. This guy is a mess. Listening to him sing is like hearing rats fuck. No. Wait. Correction. Hearing DYING rats fuck.
The fact that Melissa is more than mildly obsessed with Daniel is fine. Terrific, really. The reason she dies is because she has gotten Tony obsessed with finding every bit of Daniel media on the internet that exists. He must continue to look and listen in order to reinforce proof that Daniel really is THAT disastrous. Yesterday, I was inundated on IM with links to pictures, songs and videos, and today I had to DRAG his ass away from the computer so we could go into DC and do something remotely normal. (We went to the International Spy Museum, and it ROCKED!)
We just got home and found no less than ten completed Daniel downloads on the hard drive. Someone save me. Please.
The Daniel hype in Germany is a little bit scary, I�ll admit, but when I remember that this country invited David Hasselhoff to be the headline act at the performance to celebrate the fall of the Berlin Wall, I�m not surprised that Daniel�s such a huge sensation. David�s light-up black jacket that illuminated the Brandenburg Gate pales in comparison to Daniel�s striped Bay City Rollers jumpsuit.
What scares me is that Daniel and I are strikingly similar. Our eyeglasses are nearly identical, our names are remarkably alike, we�re both drama queens and we THINK we can sing. Then I stumbled across a picture of Daniel and a picture of me that I took several months ago, and it just made me go�
Ummmmmm.
HELP!
joeparadox at 6:32 p.m.