2003-09-01
Interview With a Gump II
I'm finally getting around to answering Gump's questions.
Questions for Danielle Part 2
1) Some people ask, �What�s the meaning of life?� which is a pretty awful question. I often ask, �What is the point of life?� The subtle difference is this. The first implies that there is meaning and that we just have to find it. The second implies that living happens. Why does it happen? The answer can be simple or grand, but its all of from your perspective.
Sure, kick my ass with the first friggin� question. Well, here�s how I see it. I�ve spent the greater part of my adult life pretending to be happier than I am in reality. I spent a hell of a lot of time trying to please other people and not enough time being me. That�s the whole point of life. If you�re not true to yourself, it�s misery. Why does living happen? I used to think it was to reach certain goals by a certain time or age. That�s bullshit to me now. Today I think living happens to challenge us to be more of ourselves every day. This is what happens. Instead of having to reach for the goal, it bends down and gives you its hand.
2) What is something that you slacked off in, but think you could have, or should have tried harder. Why didn�t you?
Easy question. I slacked off in high school and college. My English degree is in Cliff�s notes, and I guarantee you if the online translator existed when I was in school, my French degree would have been earned through that baby. I think I didn�t try hard because school was always easy for me and I got good grades by putting forth minimal effort. Here�s my deal. If someone tells me to do something, I want to do the opposite. School was all about demands. Where were the choices? I need choices. When I have an interest in learning something, I pursue the knowledge with the fire of a thousand suns. (Thanks, Melissa, for that one, I love it.) Otherwise, I�m all �feh�.
3) I know that at some point in you life you wanted children. Why do you want children? What kind of parent would you want to be? If your child would only take three things you told him/her when they grew up; what would you choose those three things to be?
I am going to be the best goddamn parent in the world. Seriously. Being with children is my gift in this life. It�s what I do. It�s like breathing to me. Why do I want children? Life is miraculous. I don�t mean that in a Jesusy way, I just mean I think it�s a miracle that a woman�s body can help create and grow another human being. Amazing. I want to have that experience. About the three things I want my children to take with...I don�t want to be the one to tell them the three most important things. I want my children to figure that out for themselves.
4) Word Art association. I will give you ten sentences; you will give me the first thing that pops into your head; a word, a phrase, a story, or a sentence. WARNING: These are going to be odd and are structured that way to see how your head works. Don�t over think. I also have made sure everything is not incorrect. All errors and spelling mistakes are done on purpose.
Dude, I f�n hate these, but I�m gonna try.
--God is the man who bites the back on neck when we are in bed together.
I don�t want to hear the words �God� and �in bed together� used in the same sentence ever again.
--A butterfly flips through the air trying to land, but the wind is too strong.
Wheee! Flipping is fun!
--She had a tongue ring. I couldn�t help thinking it. I just wish she wasn�t my son.
If my kid turned out to be a tongue ring wearing transexual, that would be okay with me. As long as she's happy.
--When you are this high up, even the sun seems small.
I�m scared to fly. But I�m going to do it.
--The only ones left at the scene were the guilty
Stupid bastards should have run faster.
--pourange
Chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!
--Do you want jippa, or gungo?
Dude, I don�t take drugs.
--That�s how this stuff is.
I need to clean out my refrigerator.
--The harder you work, the more they love you.
The more you slack off, the more I love you.
--When I was little, I spilt wax on my leg and it burned me.
My cousin once told me to sit in front of a sun lamp for 20 minutes to get a tan. I sat too close and burned my entire face. Blisters and everything. It friggin� hurt.
--My life is what you make it. My destiny is in your hands.
That�s too much pressure for anyone. Make your own destiny.
5) This is something where you saw others embarrassed. Think of a story where you witness someone getting embarrassed and tell us what happened? How did you react?
I have been embarrassed a few choice times, but watching someone else get embarrassed is worse. In third grade, we put on a play about mice. Kate�s skirt fell off during one of the scenes. The other kids laughed. Kate cried. It was the first time I ever felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. It wasn�t the skirt falling off that made her cry. It was the reaction. My students are three, four and five years old. Many of them haven�t learned to judge yet. It�s a beautiful age.
Bonus: Would you rather be deaf or mute? Gotta pick one and tell me why!!!
I�d have to pick deaf because there�s no way I can keep my mouth shut for five minutes. Impossible. You should know that by now!
joeparadox at 9:47 p.m.