2004-01-19
the house guestbook
One of my favorite things to do is create fantasy careers for myself that I'll never have. It's a little hobby I picked up on the road...of life.
::crappy ass midi of "Wind Beneath My Wings" plays in background::
I'm an HGTV addict, particularly shows like "Mission Organization." The idea of buying Rubbermaid totes and little baskets with someone else's money and organizing all their stuff makes me positively HOT.
I love "Trading Spaces," but I love its British counterpart "Changing Rooms" even more. Basically anything is better with a British accent. I watch these shows and think I could do a MUCH better job of designing and decorating than Frank, Hilde or Laurie. But not Vern. I'd never be better than Vern.
All designers begin with an inspiration piece. You've seen "A Christmas Story," right? Anyone who hasn't is dead to me until they do. (Melissa) There's a scene in the movie where Ralphie presents a carefully written theme to his teacher, entitled "What I Want for Christmas." In his mind's eye, he imagines that his essay is the most wonderful piece of work his teacher has ever encountered in her career, and she marks the paper with a large, red A+. She continues writing A++++++++ on the chalkboard and across the classroom walls, while Ralphie is carried through the room ceremoniously on his classmates' shoulders.
I imagined, in my fantasy, I suppose, that I would design the following room. (If any of you bastards try to steal this idea and send it to HGTV or TLC, I will find out and hurt you. Fair warning.)
The walls would be painted with black chalkboard paint. There would be pieces of chalk velcroed to the walls in strategically placed, aesthetically pleasing locations. My guests and I could write quotes, messages and, of course, foul vulgarities all over the room for our own amusement. When there isn�t a millimeter of space left, a photograph would be taken, developed, framed and hung in the room as a chronicle of its history. The walls would be erased to make room for a new collection of thoughts and ideas. How friggin� cool is that? Tony called this idea for a room the �House Guestbook.� I thought that was the perfect description.
I�ll be moving soon. You�re all invited to come over and sign my house guestbook. Oh, and anyone who can find the inconspicuous Corky St. Clair quote in this entry gets to use the COLORED CHALK.
joeparadox at 11:17 a.m.