2003-07-20
Clay O' The Day 4
I hope everyone is proud of me. I have managed to find yet another way to express my admiration for Kleine Butterblume. Admiration, yeah, that's it...that's the ticket.
I was goofing around on googlefight yesterday, having quite the time with myself.
I am still trying to figure out why a woman my age and with my IQ is so easily amused.
My first googlefight of the day. I know Downy Ball doesn't like all the competitive talk, but I can't help it. I'm bitter. Old and bitter.
Clay Aiken: 97,500 results
Ruben Studdard: 41,100 results
The winner is: CLAY AIKEN
Yay! I feel better now.
Now I'm in a pretty good mood. Here's my next search. This one is my all time favorite. You'll see why.
Clay loves Marie: 13,800 results
Marie loves Clay: 13,800 results
The winner is: CLAY LOVES MARIE
I knew it! He loves me! This is proven by the fact that the search results are equal in number, but Clay loves Marie shows up as the winner!
Here's the beginning of the silly searches. I enjoy the silly searches best.
Buttercup: 204,000 results
Downy Ball: 13,200 results
The winner is: BUTTERCUP
Okay, this is only because the nickname I invented for him hasn't caught on yet in all the Clay fan circles. Give it time, give it time.
At this point, I started thinking about American Idol in general. I just love Randy Jackson.
Dawg: 381,000 results
Dude: 472,200 results
The winner is: DUDE
Dude, what are you doing, dawg?! I don't do this often, but I gotta stand up for these results!
Paula's critiques are always entertaining.
Make it your own: 812,000 results
Find the matrix of a song: 233,000 results
The winner is: MAKE IT YOUR OWN
Hey, you know what? I think these results show the ACTUAL NUMBER OF TIMES Paula said "make it your own" on the show! Spooky!
Then I wondered what Paula would have said to THESE GUYS if they made it past the first round.
Keith: 6,360,000 results
Edgar: 268,000 results
The winner is: KEITH
Personally, I think Keith got a raw deal. His version of "Like a Virgin" was so entertaining and unique! RCA and 19 management are going to be sorry one day that they let him slip through their fingers. Hey, Keith, you looking for an agent?
Despite my high opinion of myself, I do believe these are the words Simon would use when criticizing my performance on American Idol.
Horrible: 2,480,000 results
Pathetic: 964,000 results
The winner is: HORRIBLE
Screw you, Simon! What the hell do you know anyway? You said Clay was ugly!
TAKE THAT SIMON!
Simon Cowell: 45, 500 results
Clay Aiken: 97,500 results
The winner is: CLAY AIKEN
AND TAKE THAT!
Simon Cowell: 45, 500 results
Man Boobs: 405,000 results
The winner is: MAN BOOBS
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!
Regarding my own behavior, I'd like to quote Clay Aiken...
"Do they have medication for that?"
joeparadox at 3:25 p.m.