2003-08-03
What You Talkin' 'Bout, Willis?
Today I only have a couple things to say because I am all hyped up again about going to visit Amy and beginning Round Two of My Life As A Clay Aiken Groupie.
I must point out my own hypocrisy so no one else has to bother.
I am the queen of changing my mind. There's nothing wrong with that. Except if you're me.
See, I like to make sweeping statements about my life using absolutes like ALWAYS and NEVER. These words usually turn around and bite me right in the ass.
Like when I told Amy I was NEVER dyeing my hair again. Followed by a huge speech about women who fall victim to society's prescribed notions of beauty and youth. "I am letting my hair go gray when nature decides it's time."
Yeaaaaaah, right.
I couldn't get to the haircolor aisle in Target fast enough the day I found seven gray hairs poking out of my temple.
Then there was the time the Discovery Channel aired the show about e coli. I watched that f'n thing and immediately declared myself a vegetarian. No WAY am I going to let my internal organs get all mushy.
Then I went to this swanky chop house for dinner. I had the biggest friggin' piece of filet mignon you've ever seen in your life. I ate the rest for breakfast the next day.
Last year there was the "I'm moving, I'm staying" drama, and of course, there's the everlasting hypocrisy called I Love To Criticize People Who Watch Lots of Television when we all know my eyeballs are about to fall out from so much channel surfing.
I seem to have this hypocrisy thing down pat. Maybe I should stay Catholic after all.
joeparadox at 10:17 a.m.