2003-07-22

Ridiculous

I am absolutely useless today.

Use. Less.

Tomorrow is the American Idols concert and my obsession is in FULL FRICKING FORCE.

I cannot think about anything else.

Lobsterchick is on vacation, so I don't even have her around to mock me and remark on the finer points of my dorkitude.

Fortunately, my new bud Gump is on hand to encourage my adolescent behavior.

Here is a portion of an IM exchange from this evening. I have edited out all intelligent conversation and post-high school vocabulary words.

Prepare yourselves for extreme foolishness and hyperactivity...

M: dude, your entry today was so good
G: which one?
M: about the want ads
M: can i just say i feel like a 12 year old right now
M: i made these huge ass posters to hold up at the show
G: are you hahahahahahahhaha
M: i have third row
G: I love it
G: WHAT
G: wow
M: yeah
G: throw your underthings on stage
M: i was gonna
M: but nah
M: i may tape the one song clay sings
M: my dig. camera has the capability
M: OMG
M: i am so fricking excited
G: wowo
G: I bet
M: my posters are ridiculous
M: they are red white and blue with big huge metallic letters
M: and pictures
M: and a metallic border
M: oh my god, i better get backstage passes for all this
M: tee hee hee
M: how old am i again?
M: ah, yes 33
M: almost 34
G: hahah
G: I would think you were 25
M: talk about peter pan
G: ...going on 12
M: lost boys
M: never grow up
M: hahahahah
M: going on 12 hahahahhaa
M: i am going to take pics of my posters and put them up on my site after the show
G: well
G: some singers do that
M: yep they do
M: some singers named CLAY AIKEN
M: did i tell you about my whole ensemble?
M: i am such a loser
M: but i love it
M: i just don't care about looking like an ass
M: ASS CITY, POPULATION ONE
M: that is me
M: i am the mayor of ass city
M: la la la la la
M: i need to charge my cell phone
M: be right back
G: okay
G: wow
G: you are hyped due to the typeing
M: ok
M: no kidding
M: i am a fast typist to begin with but i think i am setting records tonight
M: gotta love catholic school for the typing class
M: we typed to these records that played a guy's voice saying letters to the beat of a tango
M: lasdkjfalutroweinvkjh
gowihnlw/ncfaiwury0w jiorgnm
M: jksdowiyrownlfasjt9p35
M: this is how i feel right now
M: HOLY CRAP I AM HYPER
M: too much caffeine today - not a good combo with the clay excitement
G: I guess so ..
M: i am calming down
G: hehehe
G: I like it
G: I like to see you happy

...many minutes later...

M: hahahaha
M: holy crap i am so excited
M: i am drinking a coke, which may or may not be a good thing

...followed by...

M: really good looking guys don't hold a girl's interest for long
M: unless they are CLAY AIKEN
M: hahahahahaha

...and I really hit rock bottom with this...

M: hahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahad
lkfjasldkaslkfdvnxcvj
hoawirt0weu9fjiodsl
M: ldksjflkdjsflsakdjvgns
cnvlskhdowiefjoweijfwpoijf
G: hehehe
M: yep hehehe
M: what do i need to bring tomorrow
M: cell phone
M: money
M: camera
M: tickets
G: panties
G: hahahaha
M: panties
M: depends
M: for when i pee myself
M: pacemaker
M: big sign that says DO ME CLAY
M: ummmm
G: ummm
M: cell phone
M: ummmm
G: backstage pass
M: kidding about the sign
M: sort of
M: a little
M: not at all
M: no, my sign says CLAY'S GOT THE MOVES
G: the bend
M: and it has pics of him dancing
G: ...I am aware
M: he thinks he' s a sucky dancer
M: and he is
M: but that's okay
M: who am i stuart smalley?
G: thats why you like it
M: yep
M: i like a man with no moves to speak of
M: hahahaha
M: people say he's a virgin, too
M: i will be fixing that tomorrow
M: hahahahahhahaha
M: i am sick
M: sick in the head
G: hehehe
M: sick and demented
M: and i like it
G: I'm sure he won't be by the end of tomorrow

See how I spend my time?

This is all Gump's fault. He lets me go on and on, not letting him get a word in edgewise. He encourages me with all his "hehehe"s.

I promise after this concert I will get back to reality and start writing some decent stuff again.

Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?>