2003-11-18
Supergirl Underoos
Oh my god. I need a scanner. Know why? Cause there's a picture of me out there in Supergirl Underoos that everyone really must see.
I was probably nine or ten at the time when Underoos were what all the cool kids were wearing under their Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls and rainbow shirts.
I thought it was about the closest I would get to wearing a bra, and since I was completely friggin' obsessed with Judy Blume books at that age, I was keen to get me one of those babies.
"Deenie," "Blubber," "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret," "Then Again, Maybe I Won't." My favorite pastime as a child (when I wasn't making out with my Donny Osmond or Shaun Cassidy posters) was to close my eyes, take a volume from my bookshelf, open it to a random page, and read until I reached the very last word. I'm pretty sure all of these books made mention of bra wearing on one page or another. Since I dipped myself in the pages of these novels and became utterly absorbed in the lives of the characters, bra wearing was definitely for me.
So off to Two Guys or Twin Fair or Gold Circle we trotted in our 1973 black Ford LTD to buy my first bra...in the form of Supergirl Underoos.
I got home and immediately ran to the bathroom to put on my two piece dream. I stood in the mirror, staring at my body and thinking I looked very grown up. Very grown up, indeed, in my FREAKING SUPERGIRL UNDEROOS. It didn't matter that I was a veritable cartoon character. In my mind, I just put on a bra for the first time and I was a WOMAN.
Of course, my mother had to make a complete spectacle of this special private moment I was having by ushering me and my brother (in Robin Underoos) down to the front porch for a photo op. I was eating a carrot.
In the pictures, I look ridiculously uncomfortable and no longer proud to be wearing my first bra. I remember standing on the porch holding my carrot in my Supergirl Underoos when Scott from next door appeared on his front lawn. Scott was several years older than I and the brother of my good friend Greg. Scott was hot. And now Scott was watching me have my picture taken in my first bra Supergirl Underoos.
That moment was ALMOST as embarrassing as the time in gymnastics when I did a back handspring and my shirt flew up around my neck.
I was not, on that occasion, wearing a bra. I had outgrown my Supergirl Underoos, too.
joeparadox at 7:29 p.m.